mixed emotions

I Corinthians 3:7 goes like this..."So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth."

This has come to be my anthem. It plays out every time I see God working in my life. It did so last weekend, and became both an encouragement and a disappointment to me at the same time. I took a number of high schoolers to a retreat. The people who put them on cater them to be evangelical (and by that I mean they present the good news of Jesus Christ, not that they try to hasten back the dead days of Christendom). Here students are presented with the most basic message there is...we are sinners, we are unable to do anything about that, we need Jesus, you should probably get to know him, here is basically how to get that process started. Our times of discussion were awesome...we talked about the Lazarus story, a bunch of other really deep theological issues, and it seemed like the kids were really getting it. Then we came to the discussion time where they are presented with the fact that this matters for "you" personally and "you" NEED to accept Jesus and start a relationship with him. It was as though someone duct taped their mouths shut. I was shocked. It really seemed as though they got it. But then, when push came to shove, I realized they had no idea. The message literally could not have been laid out in simpler terms. They just didn't get it. I was making all kinds of compelling arguments and analogies...but none of it was sticking, none of it was convincing them that they had to have this relationship with Jesus. Then this verse rushed to the forefront of my mind. I was hit with the reality that just as I am helpless in my own sin, they are helpless in theirs. I am not the good doctor that will save them. I am not the shepherd that will lead them. That doctor and shepherd is none other than Christ. The moment that I start believing that I can convince someone into a relationship with Christ is a sad sad moment in history. At that moment I will have exalted myself above Christ and made myself into an idol. I was, and am continually, encouraged by the fact that it is not about me at all. I am grateful beyond words that it is not my job to notch my belt every time I convince someone of Jesus' importance. All I am called to be is a faithful signpost to the One whose work does not fail and whose Word will not return to Him void. The disappointment comes because I want these kids to get it, but I can't make that happen. But that is the great disappointment and encouragement all in one. May we all come to the realization that the work of God in and around us is not our own doing, but rather the doing of the One in whom we have placed our hope.

I, the one who sows, and even waters, am nothing...but God, who gives the growth, is everything and all in all.